The Rise and Fall of Your Reaction
When Being Reactive in Life Starts to Define You
No one’s perfect. Most of us can acknowledge that. People do the best they can with the knowledge they have at the time. We’re only human and we learn as we grow older (hopefully). But we all make a few mistakes here and there along the way and wish certain aspects of our character could be improved.
Some people would like to be less focussed on the negative aspects of their lives. Some people feel they are too judgemental of others and would love to be more accepting of friends, family, colleagues and even strangers.
Some people are really reactive to the opinions and comments of others.
Understanding Other People’s Opinions
It can be hard to understand the reactions and responses of people sometimes when all we have is our own view to go by. It can therefore be surprising or catch us off-guard when they say things we don’t agree with.
How you react to those differences is what says so much about you.
If you’re someone who often had those little outbursts and meltdowns as a kid, perhaps as you grew up, they became a pattern in life as an adult.
The Backstory
People used to walk on egg shells around me, feeling like anything they said or did could’ve been taken out of context and/or been turned into an argument. I can’t deny it. I would often speak up when I felt someone was wrong or if they didn’t share my values (which were all spot on of course – not).
I watched this kind of explosive behaviour in my father all my life. As a result, this seemed normal to me when I was younger.
But time is a wonderful thing, if you are fortunate enough to have it on your side. Hindsight is 20/20. All that fun stuff.
So, how do you learn to be less reactive, if you’re naturally that way inclined, or if you have many years of watching people around you behave that way?
How do you even know that you’re doing it and learn to recognise it isn’t good for you (or others)?
The World View
Start by recognising that your view of the world is yours and yours alone. You may have many views that are shared by others but your position on different aspects of life will be unique to your experience. I may feel passionate about animal welfare; you may feel passionate about live export for long-term farming security. We are all shaped by our own personal experiences and programming. Religion, ethnicity, background, it all contributes to making each of us unique. Understanding this is key to respecting other people’s views.
How Others Perceive You
Ever thought about how others perceive you? Maybe you’ve been told it doesn’t matter what other people think? Ultimately, I guess that’s true.
Most people, however, are self-aware enough to know the areas of their personalities that could use a bit of work and you really can’t go past some good old-fashioned feedback from the people who know you the best and love you regardless! Definitely do not criticise them if they are brave enough to give you some honest feedback. Be gracious and thankful for the insights.
Two Sides to Every Story
One of the best things I ever learnt from doing a university degree, much more than even the course specifics, was the ability to be able to look at different problems from opposing viewpoints. Writing essays forces you to learn this fantastic skill, known as ‘critical thinking’.
Debating uses the same skill. Picture a topic you feel strongly about and try to argue it from the opposite side of the fence. Can you do it?
The Wrap Up
We can’t all go about life as though we’ve just walked out of a yoga class or a massage. Life just isn’t like that and it can be stressful at times. It can take us by surprise. The way we react can have a huge impact on our sense of wellbeing and the experiences of those around us.
Never give up trying to grow into the person you can be most proud of. There are opportunities to learn and grow as humans all around us. Be open to those opportunities if you can.
Big love,
Bronni xo
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